A few years ago I created a side music project, separate from my singer/songwriter style to explore a newfound interest in ambient music. Today I’m shutting it down. I should also mention to the few people who care, I’m not quitting music…at least not forever.
In the last few weeks, as I’ve been seriously contemplating how to focus on growing my web development business in the next few years, I’ve finally accepted that I can’t keep tying to live a seemingly double life, where I don’t give my full effort or attention to any one thing.
For the last twenty years or so, I’ve had this dream of being a musician. But for a myriad of reasons, I have not been successful in this pursuit. Because I have been unable to commit to it as a profession, I’ve tried to keep it going as a side project. However, the problem is it takes a lot of brain-space to keep it going, even as an idea.
For the foreseeable future, I’m effectively quitting music, in that I won’t be releasing anything officially or playing live in public. While this decision was difficult to reach, it was equally necessary to allow me to pursue other things.
Accepting failure at something you love is really, really hard. Perhaps that’s why it’s taken me so long. But I finally found peace with the decision, and am actually very excited about the new possibilities and future I can create for myself and my family (more on that later).